I’ve become preoccupied with this idea of Vancouver gangsters and have launched a project, a field study if you will, on the subject. My sister who works at a fashionable restaurant downtown has been filling me in on the Vancouver Gang Squad. This is a group of police officers who walk around downtown basically profiling gangsters. The staff of said restaurant are instructed to report to The Squad any patron, and I’m not making this up, who
a)has large muscles
b)has a fake tan and
c) is wearing Ed Hardy clothing
Surely there are other things that might identify a gangster?
No, that’s all.
And how often do these people end being kicked out for alleged gangsterism?
About 90 percent of the time. At least once or twice a weekend.
So you tell the manager who tells the restaurant watch (Gang Squad) who come in and tell the party to leave? What happens then?
Well, tonight there was some yelling but it doesn’t matter because the whole restaurant is quite loud and most people didn’t really notice the exchange.
So do they pay if they get kicked out?
Yeah, sometimes. The staff makes a point of looking completely neutral in all this, like chalking it all up to random police checks.
That’s wise. So the gangsters don’t blame the establishment.
Tonight one of them came back a while later and settled the bill.
But there are random checks too?
Yes. The other night a policeman came in and said gravely, “There are three Lamborghini’s outside.” And I said, “Oh are there?”
“Yes,” he replied, “there are.”They went upstairs to where a suspicious party was eating. It turned out to be a false alarm. On the way down however, another table, gangsters it turned out, graciously cut short their meal without even being asked.
Wow, a triumph of the system.
Uh I guess.Stay tuned for the next episode of Fields Notes From a War
Further readings: A discussion on Restaurant Watch at the Urban Diner
